When I was young I rather enjoyed writing. I remember that I liked getting the crazy in my head down on paper. Not serial killer crazy, or cork-on-a-fork crazy, just normal crazy, like vampires, and dragons, and such things. Most of the writing was done in class, but since the world was just filled with to many forests to explore and tree houses to build, I never actually got around to write outside of class. Nowadays, more years then I care to count later, I still do enjoy writing. There is just something great when the words pour onto paper, or to keep it in this millennia, through the keyboard, over the wire, and into bytes stored in a cloud. These days it's not the amount of forests and tree houses that are a problem, instead I seem to have run out of crazy (to write about.).
I have been trying to find things to write about for while now. My evernote account is filled with various attempts at writing, some just small pieces, others almost complete posts, and they all make me cringe when I read them. I find it to be a bit of a personal defeat that I actually allowed myself to put such poor writings into the cloud. It's there, so some part of me must have thought it was good writing at the time! However in the cloud they remain probably due to a mix of self torture and a digital hoarding problem. The problem with them is that they all read like I tried just a little bit to hard. They all have words in them that fit into sentences, but put together they have no flow, and it sounds forced.
Then a few days ago I wrote a post about my top country songs called My country shame, and in some small short moments I reached that sort of nirvana when the text just flows from my brain into the computer. Sometime during that moment I had an epiphatree. I shouldn't try to force inspiration. I should just catch it when it shows up. That aha-moment was great to have, but at the same time rather annoying. In preparation for this blogging thing I have read a few posts about blogging written by bloggers. One of the tings most of them seem to agree on is to do just that, to seize the inspiration when it shows up. For some reason I took it in a broader way, like "pine cones are lovely, I should write about pine cones", without having any idea what it is about the pine cones that I want to tell. Now I realize that what I need to be doing is whenever my brain starts spinning up the crazy engine, to actually let that crazy out.
So I now understand that I shouldn't try to figure out what to write about, but instead, I should try and find out how to be inspired to write about the things I want to write about. How to direct the crazy to the topics where I feel I might have something worth while to say. If all I do is write more of these various ramblings then it doesn't really need to be stored in the cloud. The internet is quite full of inane ramblings without me adding to it.